He will sustain you…Isaiah 46:4

God has put so many people in my path that have spoken words of encouragement to me.  On Saturday last week, we decided to go to our favorite places with the girls before chemo started the following Monday.  Since I am still recovering from brain surgery, I can get overstimulated quickly.  PF Changs was really loud inside, so we opted to sit outside.  Since it was drizzling outside, we were the only ones sitting on the patio.  It was delightful and just what our hearts needed- undivided time with our girls.  After dinner, our tradition is to go to the Tervis store.  The girls love looking at the cups and I wanted to get one with a Bible verse that I could use during chemo.  We looked around for a while and I found the perfect one.  I went to pay the employee at the checkout counter.  She was struggling to get the cash register to do what she wanted it to.  She told us she just started and was a seasonal employee; we were in no hurry and intimated as much to her.  She told me she loved that cup I picked.  I told her that the verse on the cup was one I was clinging to as I was heading into chemo treatments next week.  She told me her husband had fought cancer- he was stage four and that was 8 years ago and he is still cancer-free.  She encouraged me to fight hard and stay positive and that God would carry me through it.  She also told me she would pray for me- someone she just met!  I was overwhelmed.  God knew exactly when she would need to start at the Tervis store so that she could be working the night I came in to encourage me and speak what God wanted her to into my life.  I am so glad she was willing.

There have been several other instances where we have been out and God has used strangers to speak hope into my life.  Never underestimate the power of God’s urging to speak to someone- it could change their life or at the very least their outlook in pointing them to Jesus.

God has given Craig so many opportunities to talk about who God is and speak hope into others’ lives.  I am so grateful that God is giving Craig the opportunities to point others to Him and walk alongside others who are hurting right now.  Praise God we don’t have to walk this life alone!

Monday, November 5th

I have previously stated that I do not believe in coincidence and that remains true.  On October 7, 2018, we were given devastating news.  This happened on my grandmother’s birthday.  If you were fortunate to have met her, you knew that she was the most amazing of women.  She was a hero of mine and someone I longed to be like.  She loved with her whole being, was feisty, and was the strongest woman I knew.  She loved me completely, of that I have no doubt because she never let us forget it and didn’t hesitate to let others know just how well loved we were.  I miss her daily.

Another day that was difficult for me was November 5, which was the day I started chemo and my Mama’s birthday.  My Mama’s nickname is the “Rock” among her close family and friends.  Not like the Rock who wrestles; the Rock, as in she is the one holding us up during times of difficulty.  Her strength is astounding and one I have marveled over my whole life.  She has had to walk through difficult storms, but she has remained strong through each of them.  She is my hero and I pray that I can be more like her everyday!

I believe that God used these two very instrumental women in my life and their respective birthdays, as well as the difficulties that the days brought this year, to remind me of where and what I come from.  My Mama and Mimi are the strongest women I know.  God knew I needed a reminder of their strength so that I could dig down deep and find my own as well as some of theirs from years of past example, along with a heaping dose of God’s, to fight cancer.

Exodus 14:14

So many emotions were swirling through me as we woke up.  We had to wait on the hospital to call us to let us know when they had a bed available since my treatment was going to be over two days in-patient.  We finally got the call and loaded our things up.  That was a long car ride to Baptist.  The fear of the unknown can be a powerful thing.  However, I am thankful that in those moments I can pray and ask God for His power and strength to get through it when I cannot.

We got settled in the room and waited on the nurse to come.  My prayer over the previous few days, and my conversations with Craig, had been about this nurse.  I desperately wanted someone with loads of experience- obviously having the newbie nurse while getting chemo could cause the patient anxiety, and it was for this girl.  Again, God cares about every intimate detail of your life and wants to be involved in every aspect.  In walks “J” and he introduces himself.  I’m near tears with anxieties and he sees that.  I told him I was very nervous because this was my first round.  He then tells me he has worked on this oncology floor for 12 years, he is the charge nurse on the floor, and will be my nurse today.  Cue the ugly cry- thank you God for seeing me, hearing me, and loving me! He also starts explaining everything that he was currently doing and the process to get me started.  I was very nervous about my port being accessed for the first time, but he walked and talked me through the whole process.  He talked to us about the chemo round, nutrition; you name it, he covered it.  He was the kindest and most intuitive nurse I have ever had throughout my hospital and surgery experiences over my lifetime. God knew I needed this nurse today and I was so thankful for His provision.

The in-patient oncology doctor who had given us really difficult news while I was in the hospital post brain surgery pending pathology was my doctor during my stay.  I was nervous about seeing her again due to the trauma from the last time.  She walked in the door and said, “Well, that turned out differently than we thought.”  Yes, it surely did.  God’s people flooded Heaven with prayers on my behalf and God changed the cancer that I had.  Thank you Jesus for a chance to fight!  We used that opportunity to tell her what a Mighty God we serve!

There were some levels that refused to cooperate, so I wasn’t able to start until around 4:00 pm for two of the chemo medications and not until 8:00 pm for the 24-hour medication.  When “J” came in to start the first one, I warned him I was probably going to cry.  His reply was, “If you want to cry tears of joy because we are starting to fix you, then go right ahead.”  So, as the tears strolled down my face, I prayed as he administered the first medication.  I pictured the horrible green-colored medication going into my body as the Wicked Witch of the West as she was “Melting, Melting, Melting” the cancer within.

My two-day in-patient stay turned into 3 1/2 days, but I am thankful for the wonderful care I was provided while I was there.  Several of the nurses I had while I was on the floor previously, once I had stepped down from the ICU, were there during this stay.  It was nice to see familiar and friendly faces who I knew would take good care of me.  Finally, my levels were low enough to go home on Thursday mid-morning.

There is something about being in your own bed.  I have spent the last few days resting and trying to regain strength for Monday.  I’m so thankful for the the medications sent home to assist with the side effects.  Tomorrow starts regimen 2.  Thankfully this chemo treatment is out-patient and will happen at the MD Anderson infusion center.

Will you pray for me tomorrow?  This is a new round with different medications.  Please pray that God will give me His strength to get through this round and side effects be will as minimum as possible.  Please pray for my husband, my baby girls, and our family as they walk beside me, and at times, hold me up.

We are so thankful for each of you and your willingness to carry our burdens to the Great Physician.  I’m not sure which burden you may be carrying tonight, but God can and will walk alongside you and carry it for you.  You are never alone.