Purposeful waiting

Breathing

The last several weeks have been weird, but a good weird.  I don’t know how else to describe it.  My days have been spent recovering, resting, and spending time with my family.  I haven’t had to go to MD Anderson once or Baptist Medical Center.  Since my diagnosis, there hasn’t been a week that has gone by where I haven’t been one of the two places or both multiple times a week.  I haven’t had a chemo port or a PICC line to contend with.  I have been able to sleep in my own bed every single night; for a girl who has spent 31 days in the hospital over the last few months, that is a big thing!  I have also been able to shower without having to have a shower guard on my arm or chest.  Praise the Lord, I am so thankful!

The week after my last treatment I could tell my blood count started to decline.  I was pretty wiped out.  I had no energy and spent most of my time resting.  I am so glad that we have a village of those who love us to help us through this journey.  Thank you Jesus!  I am feeling better now and am hoping my blood work tomorrow will show that my immune system is now back in normal range and my anemia has improved.

I had my pulmonary function test a week and a half ago.  My daughter has asthma and my husband is a firefighter, so I am familiar with a lung function test.  This is the same type of thing, just more intense with more tests/measures.  For a type A, overachiever I wanted to “pass.”  The sweetheart that was administering the test informed me that it isn’t pass/fail, but a measure to see where I am at.  Well, I’d like my lungs to be working as well as can be heading into surgery.  I had to do several of the measures twice, ugh.  Unfortunately, I won’t receive those results until tomorrow.

In the waiting

When you have cancer, there is a great deal of waiting.  Waiting to find out results from tests.  Waiting to see doctors.  Waiting to get in with doctors.  Waiting for next steps.

God works in the waiting.  His word has several things to say about waiting in Him.  Isaiah 40:31 states that He will renew your strength as you wait for the Lord and that you won’t grow weary or faint.  We are to be of good courage while we wait (Psalm 27:13-14).  It’s easier said than done sometimes.

In this period of waiting, I have been able to rest.  Rest in God’s promises and also physically rest.  I have also been able to explore His word, pray with my children, and read His word with them and my husband.  I have been able to reach out to others in our lives that are currently in a cancer battle and try to be a blessing to them likes others have been for me.  I have been able to pray without ceasing for them and others that are going through a difficult time.  Our connection group has the motto,” we get to do this.”  Praise God I get to do those things!  I am so thankful and grateful for His healing and this recovery time.  I can’t wait to get back to other things that I love to do and have missed.  For now, I am just thankful for the things that I can do.

Near to the Brokenhearted

The Bible says in Psalm 34:18 that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted.  I have been brokenhearted over the last few weeks for several people- individuals who have been recently diagnosed with cancer, one such person who is near and dear to me.  Cancer was just something that wasn’t “real” to me.  Until you have lived it or walked beside a loved one who has, it’s hard to empathize with something you don’t fully understand.  I have learned so much during these last few months, one of which is how to pray without ceasing, to pray in faith.  I am thankful that through this journey of mine, God taught me what it means to pray His promises without ceasing.  I have prayed those over these individuals in our lives that are now facing their own cancer battle.  My heart hurts for them knowing that this journey is hard, full of unknowns and fears, and pain.  However, I also know that God is so good and faithful and that He can carry them through their journey, never leaving them.  Will you join me in prayer for the following people?

• Nicole
• Tiffany
• Mr. M
• Katie
• Maggie
• Jeff
• Kathy

Thank you so much for praying for them!

An update on my friend Kristy- she is recovering from her surgery and is currently doing well.  Thank you for praying for her!  Please continue to do so.

Next Steps

I meet with the lung surgeon tomorrow.  I am hoping that I can have surgery very soon, but ultimately I want it to happen in God’s perfect timing.

Will you pray for me?  I am a little nervous about what he is going to suggest as well as the results from my lung function test and what that will mean post-surgery.  Will you also pray that God-willing, I can have this surgery soon and begin to fully recover from treatment and surgery?

I can’t begin to thank you enough for coming alongside us on this journey and praying for us.  It has meant the world to Craig and I to know that we have so many praying for us, carrying us to Jesus.  We truly couldn’t have made it this far without your prayers.  Thank you for continuing to pray for us.  We are eternally grateful and are so blessed by you!